This is somewhat of a gag page, but who knows, maybe it will come in handy to scoring me someone that I really like. At any rate, I thought it would be a good/fun thing to write down all the random criteria I tend to make up for what it takes to date me, this is a list that will probably be updated and edited on a regular basis, and is open to suggestions...so with no further ado, here it is...

1. No flamers
2. Must own a nice/fashionable bag of sorts, to carry a book (not magazine) that they read for leisure
3. Must be able to read and write at least at a 11th grade level
4. Must not work at a fast food joint.
5. They do not take public transit unless they are a student.
6. Not older or younger than me by more than 3 years
7. Must make enough money to support my broke ass - if need be.
8. Must NEVER lie to me
9. Must be able to pass for a straight guy.
10. Must not have any sort of weird connection to me or any of my ex's
11. No Smokers
12. No Druggies
13. No fat chicks
14. Must have an IQ of at least 130
15. Must not have an odd obsession with ANY 'diva'
16. Must have abdominals....6-8 pack is a must.
17. Nobody more than 3 inches taller or shorter than me
18. Must be able to drive, and preferably have their own car (exceptions only in case of criteria #5.)
19. Must be able to dress at least as well as I do
20. Must not wear more make-up than I do. aka - no makeup.
21. Must be talented at least at one of the following, and at least have an appreciation for the rest:
     * Art
     * Music
     * Sports
     * Finance/Business
     * Linguistic skills (Bilingual is a benefit)
     * Sciences
     * Literature
22. Must have a conscious understanding of body odour and complete control over it
23. Must be able to dance, and dance well to most types of music (without being flamey)
24. Must NOT own anything from "le Chateau"
25. Must like and or at least be kind to animals and the environment
26. Well endowed is a benefit
27. Must like to cuddle
28. Must enjoy reading
29. Must enjoy my random stupidness (a la ninjas, mullets and midgets)
30. They have to be able to enjoy a good cartoon
31. Must listen to me, even when they really don't care
32. They can't be clingy
33. Must be attractive as determined by me
34. On the same note, must also have a complimentive affect when paired with me (ie: nobody will say, "ugh, he's either really rich, or really well hung...")
35. MUST be able to look good in stupid things, and be willing to do it in public (ie: wear animal ears, or fun fur etc.)
36. Has to be cultured, and high class, with good manners
37. Does not use words that do not exist, unless it is for fun, or cromulent. ;)
38. Must be a total hopeless romantic, and display that quality to me
39. Although I wouldn't make them, or expect it, be willing to drop everything to make me happy once in a while
40. Must have the balls to stand up to me, even if they are afraid
41. Does not consider their initials as a name
42. Must blend with nature
43. Must be sexy, but not afraid to show their geeky side
44. Must not impose their beliefs upon me or anyone else (ie: trek-y-ness)
45. Must be emotionally stable
46. Must be able to keep up with me in whatever we choose to do
47. Must not be afraid of roller coasters, unless they're really cute about it.
48. Must be willing to take risks, and be brave, even if they are scared shitless
49. Nice eyebrows (that don't need much upkeep)
50. Must be able to get out of bed, and still be presentable (aka - naturally beautiful)
51. No mullets, good hair is key
52. Must be willing to make me a priority (although I'd never ask it, it would be WELL appreciated)
53. Must be able to find ways to surprise me in new and exciting ways on a regular basis (random gifts are fun, but not when overdone)
54. No drag queens, transexuals, transgendered, hermaphrodites, and basically anything that is not a regular gal.
55. Nice teeth are a must
56. NO THUGS
57. Must have hobbies that don't involve drinking, music (unless they're in a band or play instruments), or how they look (ie: doing your hair is not a hobby!).
58. Personal hygiene is a must
59. Must NEVER have bad breath...or at least be conscious of it enough to fix it before talking or getting close to me.
60. NO CARNIES!
61. Must be kind to the elderly, disabled, young, etc...
62. Chivalry is not dead
63. No hairy butts.
64. No back hair. I don't even care if you wax that shit, you still fail automatically.
65. No ego's bigger than mine. or that can't be backed up with proof
66. Must have a future (ie: nobody who will work in retail the rest of their lives)
67. Must have volunteer experience of some sort, the sappier/sweeter the better. (old folks homes, orphanages etc.)
68. Absolutely MUST be able to stand out from the crowd, and be an individual
69. Must like #69
70. Can't live so far that I can't see them on a regular basis
71. Must have good common sense abilities, and a great sense of humour
72. Must be able to make me laugh
73. Must not make pointless arguments, or drama where it is completely unecessary
74. Must be able to take me on in a fight, but never, EVER be able to hurt me willingly
75. I MUST FEEL AN ATTRACTION TO YOU
76. Must be able to get along well with my friends
77. NO S.T.D.'s of any sort. Not even herpes, keep your damn cold sores etc to yourself!
78. Must have good taste in anything, movies, clothes etc...but enjoy tasteless things for what they are (ie: the movie, "Kung-Pow")

Bonus:
1. Being able to cook well
2. Liking tigger
3. Knowledge of the tao of Pooh
4. Connections in food, entertainment, and or travel industries